A Link Between Realities: a Terrible Crossover
by Hilia2021
Summary: There will be more shows/games that will be included, but ANYWAYS Link's Out of Character (weak, can speak, cynical and sarcastic, basically the exact opposite of the hero we all know and love), and nobody is going to like it. It also contains an old hag of a grandmother, cliches broken, and best of all, FOURTH WALL BREAKS! Other characters will come in later, but for now, no.
1. Chapter 1

**A Link Between Worlds: a Terrible Crossover**

Hello, any and everybody who may or may not be reading this. Anyways, here's me, murdering the Legend of Zelda franchise for any and all fans who are interested in it. SO, let's begin to get an entire fandom to plot my demise! The beginning of this story will begin with my own personal version of the Zelda creation story, which in NOWHERE near cannon. Plus, this Link will be able to talk, sarcastic and cynical, and likes to read (along with being the exact opposite of the traditional Link). SO, let's start this terrible story, shall we?

. . .

 _Many ages ago, man was warring in an epic battle that threatened to wipe out their species. The old gods looked down upon them, and to end the bloodshed and death, they gathered all the hopes and dreams of the people and crafted them into a sacred, holy object that they gave to a king. And after that, the battles ceased, so the old gods allowed their gaze to leave the lands and look towards more important matters. But, after many millennium, they looked down once more upon the land of men and understood their mistake. The king they had given the sacred light was kind and just. But as he grew old and died, he left it to his oldest son, who was the exact opposite of his father. He used this power to rule the land with an iron fist, and this was true with all kings who had ruled for the next thousand years._

 _The gods contemplated what to do. They could not destroy the light, for not all of their powers combined were still not enough to destroy it. For many years after that, they waited to find a reason to destroy their creation. Then, it happened. The current king was murdered, and the light stolen. This caused another great war for its possession, but it was not a fair battle, as one side had the power of all hopes, dreams and wishes in their grasp. Instead of a war, it was a one-sided massacre. The gods, now with a reason to abolish their divine relic, used every last bit of their power to shatter it. But, this was a great strain on all of them, and while they managed to achieve their goal, they could no longer continue their existence._

 _Because of their efforts, the relic had been split apart into three pieces. As for the gods, their bodies may have been obliterated, but their immortal souls carried on, reincarnating. But, while each soul should have become their own god, several of them instead became mortal: and thus the_ _Eight Sages_ _were born from the sacrifice of their immortality. All but five of the original gods had remained immortal. These new deities had, instead of taking on an element to wield, chosen a part of their previous lives' creation to claim as their own. These beings were Nayru, Din, Faron, Hylia, and Ordana. The first four goddesses enjoyed the worship and praise that they got from the mortals who saw them as protectors and guardians, while the fifth, Ordana, was contents to just sit back and watch the world progress from the shadows of memory and history. And so, the world was at peace once more…_

"LINK!" shouted his grandmother right next to his ear. He startled awake, launching three feet in the air out of fright. Turning his head to the side to see what was behind him, his eyes fell onto the shriveled, hag like form of his elderly grandmother, staring at him with a look that could make a Deku Baba wither away. She was no taller than him, and was just barely shorter than he was. Of course, she was shorter than all of his brothers and sisters. Her hair was completely white as snow, but she was nowhere near as pure. She was stronger than Link from her years working as a member of a street gang, and a construction worker after that. Thanks to that, she could "discipline" any of her seven grandchildren by punching them through a wall.

Of course, that was why he was hiding behind a tree at that moment, since he knew that's exactly what she would do if she found out that he was slacking off of farm work to read. She had some strange vendetta against books that was never justified, but there were several theories about it. One was that she grew up as an orphan, and because of that she had never gotten a proper education like he did. Or it could be that she just believed that they were a waste of time and merely a distraction to keep people from working. But in any case, she had strictly forbidden all of her grandchildren from reading as it would "only fill their heads with useless garbage" as she would put it.

And he was caught doing exactly that. Fortunately, this wasn't the first time that she had scolded him for reading. Like all of the times before, she had told him how useless that books were, and that they were only garbage, written by garbage, for garbage. And as usual, she then called his younger brother over to compare them and explain how even though he was older, he wasn't worth nearly as much as he was. And there was a big difference in the two just by looking at them.

While they shared the same fair blond hair and blue eyes, the younger sibling was taller and more heavily built. He had more muscles than any 10-year old child should have, and was somehow 4'9" while Link only stood at 4'3". Not only that, but he was mute while Link could talk, so everybody knew that being in his family and being mute meant that he would probably be the next hero, like the Hero of Time or the Hero of Twilight. In fact the only thing that could make him more qualified to take the place of Hero of something or other was if his name was Link.

Oh wait, the elder Link thought, it is. In fact, all of his brothers were named Link. His mother knew that she was descended from some hero reincarnation or other, and so she believed that if she had multiple children named Link, then the next hero was more likely to be one of them. So, that's how she had ended up giving birth to several children. Of course, that attempt to predict when the hero would be born was her downfall, since she had died in childbirth.

After his scolding, she confiscated his book (as usual) and screamed at me to get back to work so loud that the goddesses could hear her in whatever realm they existed in. As he got back to work hoeing the same patch of dirt over and over again, his mind began to wander, and before he knew it he was rereading the myth of creation in his mind again. And since he currently had nothing better to do, he decided not to ignore it and stood there for the rest of the day, hoeing that same patch of land.

. . .

Now that THAT nightmare is over, let's talk. Sorry that I haven't been able to write/update, but my computer was broken, so I had to get it repaired. Then, I had to come up with an idea of a story to write. And finally,... I procrastinated. So tell me just how bad it is, and I may or may not keep writing.


	2. Chapter 2

A Link Between Realities: a Terrible Crossover: Chapter 2  
Hello, beauties and gentlebeauties (Undertale reference)! And welcome back to this horrible fanfiction. SO,continuation on the terrible writing, I have a thank you to give. This chapter would not have been completed had it not been for commenter Zeni Riri lying through her/his/their teeth about how I'm writing a good story. So thank you, Zeni Riri for being a motivational cattle prod like former Vice Pres. Joe Biden. Probably might ask them their opinion on my stories. And finally, learn from my mistakes in writing and use it to improve yourself. That way, you can learn from failure without actually failing yourself. See you all at the end of the story!  
-

Waking up, Link was ready for another horrible day of back-breaking labor that he would probably procrastinate doing until his grandmother sent him into the house to do something productive before getting "disciplined". But he was used to that, and after years of that punishment, he was very much used to the pain of getting hit over and over again. And with his luck, it would continue this way for the rest of his grandmother's life until he was totally indifferent and incapable of feeling anything. But, what he didn't know was that next chapter was the one where it actually became a crossover and that his adventure would begin. Because if it wasn't his, then why would he be the main character?

As he got out of bed and performed his daily routine as slowly as he possible could, he began his traditional daily ponder of why he even existed, and for what reason. Shoving his head through the hole of his farmer's tunic that was too small for him, he pushed those thought out of his head. By the time he had finished squeezing into one of the few pants he owned that were tight enough to suffocate a seagull and pulling both of his worn, brown boots up past to his calves, he had entered his constant state of perpetual apathy. Exiting his room, he strolled down the stairs of his house, ducking and weaving between his multiple siblings and their daily roughhousing that occurred everywhere and anywhere that they could. He had been trapped between two of them at one of those fights, and it was almost as painful as his grandmother's punches. Almost was the keyword of that sentence, of course.

Entering the kitchen, the scene before him made Link consider turning around and walking back up to his room to die slightly more than he did on a normal day-to-day basis. All of his brothers were sitting at the table, silently yelling at each other in sign language, their fingers moving from one word to the next in fluent motions almost too fast to comprehend. Some neighborhood girl or other was most likely in the kitchen making breakfast for whatever the crone who was somehow related to him had offered her. It could be anything, from crops to money. Heck, she had once even offered his oldest brother's hand in marriage to several different girls on several different occasions to make some feast or other. Roaming around the room, he spotted and empty seat. Wedging himself in some seat at the table, he realized just why it was empty. But, now he was locked in and couldn't leave, so he was forced to sit in the seat directly across from the bane of his existence.

The result of his choice in location was immediate. She began to emit a wail that would make a banshee green with envy, and a pitch that only dogs should be able to hear. "Why are you late! You're supposed to have been awake hours ago, and you didn't do any work like your brothers! Instead, you just lazed around in your room, wasting air and space while relying on our charity to keep you fed and sheltered! But you need to learn that everything comes with a price. People aren't just going to give you something with for free, you have to earn it. And you, boy, clearly don't deserve anything in life, not even the food that this girl from town was kind enough to make for us working and productive folk! So you don't need any food since you didn't work. Now just sit there and think about what you need to fix in your life, which is everything!" Link, though, wasn't listening since she had gone on tangents like this many times before, so he just guessed what she was screaming about. 'Of course', he thought,' I'll just sit here and slowly starve to death because I didn't wake up early enough to beat the sun so that I could break my back working with smelly animals and mindless vegetables. Oh yeah, and the actual plants and animals too.'

As everybody cleared out of the dining room towards the farm outside, Link decided to consider his surroundings. Acres upon acres of tilled brown rows as far as the eye could see, the exact opposite of the large expanse of green fields that were interspersed with the occasional cow, sheep, or goat. Rows of corn stood like soldiers at attention to his near right, before being replaces somewhere in the distance by tomatoes, lettuce, squash, and who-knows-what other fruits and vegetables that the goddesses created. On his other side was a huge orchard filled with every type of tree imaginable, all surrounding a huge, stereotypical red barn. And although he couldn't see it, tucked away in a small corner of that barn was a stall full of the ingredients necessary for making red and blue potions. He know that because since he wasn't good at physical labor, and also since everybody else who worked the farm were idiots, and that's where he went to be useful to the family.

'No', he thought,' this isn't how I'm going to spend the rest of my pointless life, working in a barn, scooping animal poop and dealing with insufferable fools for all eternity. At least one of my brothers will be able to leave whenever they become the hero of whatever and get placed somewhere in Nintendo's over-complicated timeline that only makes sense in the event of time travel.' He was tired of the verbal and physical abuse that he was constantly going through, and he had had enough. If something didn't happen soon to give him another excuse to, he would leave. Of course, not like anybody would notice that he would be gone. Until then, he would just quietly submit to the usual struggles of day-to-day life. But what he didn't know was that the author had something special planned for him starting in chapter 3, when the crossover would actually begin.

Welcome to the end. Okay, let me explain how you people can help affect the story. There will be the 8 Sages, obviously. But I have several different choices for each sage. Remember, there are: Light, Shadow, Forest, Fire, Water, Spirit, Wind, and Earth. So, since I hate choices, I will list different sage choices in a poll, and you can vote for who they are. Not only will the new sage, elected by you will enter the story, but their entire fandom will as well. So if (for example) the sage comes from Pokemon, then all Pokemon characters will be able to appear in the story. So thank you for reading and being patient with my laziness. Goodbye in several different ways: Bye, Chao, Hasta La Vista, Adios, Adieu, Aloha, and Au Revoir!


End file.
